CloseButSoFar » funny http://closebutsofar.com Lighthearted fun. All so close, but so far from home Fri, 21 May 2010 11:19:38 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Why Aren’t We Dating? The one that got away?? http://closebutsofar.com/2010/01/why-arent-we-dating-confess-to-your-crush-this-valentines-day/ http://closebutsofar.com/2010/01/why-arent-we-dating-confess-to-your-crush-this-valentines-day/#comments Tue, 26 Jan 2010 08:17:21 +0000 Lee http://closebutsofar.com/?p=180

Why Aren't We Dating?

Found this the other day when I was chatting to Paul about the girls that got away during high school.  There was one girl who I liked for 2 years at high school but the opportunity never seemed to come up to ask her out.  I was never sure whether she liked me even though we flirted like hell.  I would have been laughed at by so many of my friends and how would we ever be able to hang out again if she rejected me?

Many years later though, I bumped into this girl at a party; she confessed to me that I used to be in her diary every day during high school and that ‘I should know why’!? Damn!!  The tagline is:

Is there somebody you like, but you’re not sure whether they feel the same?

Fits far too well with my situation at the time.  Unfortunately by the party she  already had a boyfriend.  Chance missed. Shame, as she was an absolute stunner :(  Check it out: Why Aren’t We Dating

]]> http://closebutsofar.com/2010/01/why-arent-we-dating-confess-to-your-crush-this-valentines-day/feed/ 7 Frustrated Indonesian football fan goes CRAZY! http://closebutsofar.com/2010/01/indonesian-football-fan-goes-crazy/ http://closebutsofar.com/2010/01/indonesian-football-fan-goes-crazy/#comments Fri, 08 Jan 2010 06:32:55 +0000 Lee http://closebutsofar.com/?p=143 A frustrated Indonesian football (soccer) fan went crazy and took matters into his own hands by expertly taking the ball and running the length of the pitch Forrest Gump style.

Notice his lack of shoes!! His shot was a bit poor though, lacked accuracy straight at the keeper but his pace and power are to be admired.  One spectator said: “He could be a future striker for Indonesia.”.  We have to agree because like the rest of the team he couldn’t even score.

He’s probably better than the entire Indonesian team put together anyway.

]]> http://closebutsofar.com/2010/01/indonesian-football-fan-goes-crazy/feed/ 4 My Next Life by Woody Allen http://closebutsofar.com/2010/01/my-next-life-by-woody-allen/ http://closebutsofar.com/2010/01/my-next-life-by-woody-allen/#comments Fri, 01 Jan 2010 16:49:11 +0000 paul http://closebutsofar.com/?p=140 Found this except by Woody Allen. I think he got it right. I mean, it sucks that our lives get worse as we age. We have less fun, more responsibility, the body degenerates and we become “old”. Not something to look foward to. As soon as we’re old enough to start appreciating life, it’s like “damn, i’m old already and heading towards death!”. Most of the fun is over with. Maybe that’s why people have kids… A distraction from how miserable the future really is! So Woody got the right idea. The ‘direction’ of life really sucks, so the opposite way around would be absolutely perfect!!!!
My Next Life by Woody Allen

My Next Life


“In my next life I want to live backwards.
You start out dead and get that out of the way.

The you wake up in an old people’s home
feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy,
go collect your pension, and then when
you start work, you get a gold watch
and a party of your first day.

You work for 40 years until you’re young
enough to enjoy your retirement.

You party, drink alcohol, and are
generally promiscuous, then you
are ready for high school.

You then go to primary school,
you become a kid, you play.
you have no responsibilities,
you become a baby until you
are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in
luxurious spa like conditions with
central heating and room service
on top, larder quaters every day
and then, Volia!
You finish off as an orgasm!

I rest my case.”

]]> http://closebutsofar.com/2010/01/my-next-life-by-woody-allen/feed/ 2 python found in bird cage, pet bird missing! BUT… http://closebutsofar.com/2009/12/python-in-bird-cage-pet-bird-missing-but/ http://closebutsofar.com/2009/12/python-in-bird-cage-pet-bird-missing-but/#comments Sun, 20 Dec 2009 14:53:28 +0000 paul http://closebutsofar.com/?p=97 a woman found a fat python stuck on her bird cage. her pet parrot was no-where to be seen and the python had a very fat belly!

BUT… the python had made a critical miscalculation, the bird got its revenge!! you see, the python’s stomach was bulging so much after its meal that it couldn’t get back out of the cage!

indeed, the snake got its meal, but the bird got the last laugh~

]]> http://closebutsofar.com/2009/12/python-in-bird-cage-pet-bird-missing-but/feed/ 7 kungfu monkey beats up trainer http://closebutsofar.com/2009/12/kungfu-monkey-beats-up-trainer/ http://closebutsofar.com/2009/12/kungfu-monkey-beats-up-trainer/#comments Fri, 18 Dec 2009 15:13:27 +0000 paul http://closebutsofar.com/?p=54 There’s this crazy guy in China who teaches monkeys how to do Kung Fu. Anyway, one of his monkeys kicked him in the head whilst he wasn’t looking. Judging by the technique on the flying sidekick, the monkey in the pic appears to be a blackbelt. The rest of the monkeys joined in and gang-bashed him. One even beat him with a stick (apparently). According to an observer, he was pretty angry at the monkeys afterwards. but I think it’s his fault, for having monkeys as students!

kung fu monkey performs a perfectly executed flying side-kick

perfectly executed flying side-kick

kung fu monkey goes for the head!

giant leap to knee trainer in the head!

Irresistible flying stick technique

Not beaten up enough?  Why not discuss the monkey’s killer techniques on the Earth forums?

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