CloseButSoFar » humour http://closebutsofar.com Lighthearted fun. All so close, but so far from home Fri, 21 May 2010 11:19:38 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Frustrated Indonesian football fan goes CRAZY! http://closebutsofar.com/2010/01/indonesian-football-fan-goes-crazy/ http://closebutsofar.com/2010/01/indonesian-football-fan-goes-crazy/#comments Fri, 08 Jan 2010 06:32:55 +0000 Lee http://closebutsofar.com/?p=143 A frustrated Indonesian football (soccer) fan went crazy and took matters into his own hands by expertly taking the ball and running the length of the pitch Forrest Gump style.

Notice his lack of shoes!! His shot was a bit poor though, lacked accuracy straight at the keeper but his pace and power are to be admired.  One spectator said: “He could be a future striker for Indonesia.”.  We have to agree because like the rest of the team he couldn’t even score.

He’s probably better than the entire Indonesian team put together anyway.

]]> http://closebutsofar.com/2010/01/indonesian-football-fan-goes-crazy/feed/ 4 100 year old Granny parachutes – guaranteed to lose teeth http://closebutsofar.com/2009/12/100-year-old-granny-parachutes-guaranteed-to-lose-teeth-evidence-provided/ http://closebutsofar.com/2009/12/100-year-old-granny-parachutes-guaranteed-to-lose-teeth-evidence-provided/#comments Mon, 21 Dec 2009 07:28:40 +0000 Lee http://closebutsofar.com/?p=109 So a 100 year old Brazilian Grandmother is going to do a parachute jump from 4,000 metres on Christmas Day -she’ll be the oldest parachutist in history.  WE URGE HER NOT TO DO THIS.

False teeth are expensive and I don’t believe they have healthcare provision in Rio. Look what happened to this Granny:

Granny feeling the G's

It's coming out. Not a pretty site

The force is too strong..whoosh and it's gone..

no teeth, no shape; all worrying..

Apparently her Grandson helped her to organise the jump… hmmm… how about that inheritance Granny? … I bet she actually asked for a nice jumper.

C67FDWBD7TH8
]]> http://closebutsofar.com/2009/12/100-year-old-granny-parachutes-guaranteed-to-lose-teeth-evidence-provided/feed/ 1 kungfu monkey beats up trainer http://closebutsofar.com/2009/12/kungfu-monkey-beats-up-trainer/ http://closebutsofar.com/2009/12/kungfu-monkey-beats-up-trainer/#comments Fri, 18 Dec 2009 15:13:27 +0000 paul http://closebutsofar.com/?p=54 There’s this crazy guy in China who teaches monkeys how to do Kung Fu. Anyway, one of his monkeys kicked him in the head whilst he wasn’t looking. Judging by the technique on the flying sidekick, the monkey in the pic appears to be a blackbelt. The rest of the monkeys joined in and gang-bashed him. One even beat him with a stick (apparently). According to an observer, he was pretty angry at the monkeys afterwards. but I think it’s his fault, for having monkeys as students!

kung fu monkey performs a perfectly executed flying side-kick

perfectly executed flying side-kick

kung fu monkey goes for the head!

giant leap to knee trainer in the head!

Irresistible flying stick technique

Not beaten up enough?  Why not discuss the monkey’s killer techniques on the Earth forums?

]]> http://closebutsofar.com/2009/12/kungfu-monkey-beats-up-trainer/feed/ 13 Was the Buddha GAY? Evidence shows that it’s likely! http://closebutsofar.com/2009/12/was-the-buddha-gay-evidence-shows-that-its-likely/ http://closebutsofar.com/2009/12/was-the-buddha-gay-evidence-shows-that-its-likely/#comments Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:07:32 +0000 paul http://closebutsofar.com/?p=41 When I was first reading the Buddhist scriptures, the Buddha would talk about his attendant Ananda in very homoerotic terms. Nobody had ever mentioned anything about this so I didn’t think much of it at the time. just seemed kind of weird… the way in which the Buddha would gossip to others about how hot his (MALE) personal attendant Ananda is.

the handsome anada reciting the buddha's teachings

Finally, I decided to conduct some search about this. and I found that there is actually evidence which shows homoerotic elements in the relationship between the Buddha and his attendant Ananda. The best example is in the Jataka – accounts of the Buddha’s former lives. In these texts, there are some steamy accounts of the Buddha and his male attendant Ananda. A common theme of the Jatakas is love and devotion between men. It glorifies the homosexual relationship (not that there’s anything wrong with that!). But think about it….. Two men who are always together….. Day and night….. Ananda is dedicated mind, body, and soul to the Buddha, and was known to be a very attractive boy. And lets face it, if the Buddha is starved of women, wouldn’t he not feel some attraction towards this handsome boy who is always by his side? In fact, it is the Buddha who chooses to have this handsome boy by his side at all times.

The reality is that in monastic life, there has been a certain laxity towards homosexuality. I mean, what do you get when you take a bunch of guys and starve them of women? It’s the same as what you get in prisons. Homosexuals. Monks are still human after all.

Further evidence points to the Dob dob in Tibetan Buddhism. A monastic fraternity who would fight over boys (for sexual relationships). In other words, they were openly paedophiles. Just as many of the ancient greek philosophers were.

This topic, of homoeroticism in Buddhism has been kept surprisingly quiet. Perhaps it’s time to bring the Buddha out of the closet?

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