CloseButSoFar » woody allen http://closebutsofar.com Lighthearted fun. All so close, but so far from home Fri, 21 May 2010 11:19:38 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 My Next Life by Woody Allen http://closebutsofar.com/2010/01/my-next-life-by-woody-allen/ http://closebutsofar.com/2010/01/my-next-life-by-woody-allen/#comments Fri, 01 Jan 2010 16:49:11 +0000 paul http://closebutsofar.com/?p=140 Found this except by Woody Allen. I think he got it right. I mean, it sucks that our lives get worse as we age. We have less fun, more responsibility, the body degenerates and we become “old”. Not something to look foward to. As soon as we’re old enough to start appreciating life, it’s like “damn, i’m old already and heading towards death!”. Most of the fun is over with. Maybe that’s why people have kids… A distraction from how miserable the future really is! So Woody got the right idea. The ‘direction’ of life really sucks, so the opposite way around would be absolutely perfect!!!!
My Next Life by Woody Allen

My Next Life


“In my next life I want to live backwards.
You start out dead and get that out of the way.

The you wake up in an old people’s home
feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy,
go collect your pension, and then when
you start work, you get a gold watch
and a party of your first day.

You work for 40 years until you’re young
enough to enjoy your retirement.

You party, drink alcohol, and are
generally promiscuous, then you
are ready for high school.

You then go to primary school,
you become a kid, you play.
you have no responsibilities,
you become a baby until you
are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in
luxurious spa like conditions with
central heating and room service
on top, larder quaters every day
and then, Volia!
You finish off as an orgasm!

I rest my case.”

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